i'm third.

i'm really thankful for all phases of my life. i am really glad i learned lessons through happiness and sadness and love and loss. i can honestly say that in life i have never been as proud of myself as i am now. i have a good attitude, a great family, a love for Christ, and a perfect soon to be spouse. its true, i am basically bragging right now. but ya know what? i'm ok with that.

i have seen too many people live through a life of addictions. i have seen drug addictions that end in suicide, i have seen alcohol addictions that lead to being 32 and living with your parents with a dead end job and a lot of nights spent crying, and i have seen addictions to sadness. i know sadness seems like something you cant be addicted to, but honestly. i think you can. people seem to thrive on being sad sometimes. it gives them cause to hurt the people around them solely because they are happy. it allows them more reason to be sad when other people are sad. instead of going to the store to buy booze they are just signing onto facebook and crying over others success. when did society become so driven and focused on the negative parts of someone else's success? my friend got a job in LA. it was her dream job. and it was my dream for her to get it. i dont care that of course it was a job i would have loved to have. i care because it made her life. and at that moment, thats what she needed.

jeremy and i have been doing a couples devotional every night. it is really my absolute favorite part of my day even if its 5 minutes to 30 minutes of time. it is the most looked forward to time of the day. (and thats saying a lot, because i like to eat and lately we have been watching 24 which is awesome.) but anyways, last week we read this story about a pilot who during an air show something happened to his engine. as he was going down he basically realized that he could bail out of the plane and have it crash into houses or he could steer the plane to land in one large yard and it would hurt no one but kill himself. that man chose to land the plane in a safe zone and kill himself. later they found a note in his wallet that said "i'm third." that meant that God was first, others were second, and he was third. i was completely blown away and in awe of that mans attitude.

i want that attitude. i think that attitude is in complete correlation with my thoughts on sadness addiction. i think that when someone genuinely feels that they are third and they thrive on other peoples happiness and success then they in turn become happy and successful. i know that i have always had a great attitude and i do try to always put others first but until i read that story and really focused on the meaning of it did it become real to me. wanting something to happen for yourself doesnt come by complaining about nothing going my way. it comes when i realize that maybe its not my time for things to come my way because i am not ready for them. because maybe my attitude has let things pass me by. i refuse to let things pass me by.

these are just my rambling thoughts on how much of life is spent living through the world of others. and in some ways it is the best, like building someone up or being there for a friend. but in other ways, it is the exact opposite of the best. if you are putting yourself before others, then maybe that is where the sadness addiction really continues to grow.

sorry for the long post. sometimes i just like to write.

good day.

a funny thing happened...

well, life is awesome. really. there are so many cliches that i could spout out about the light at the end of the tunnel, or never giving up faith, etc, and honestly they are all true. life is really something to delight in. i have been through my fair share of ups and downs and its glorious that through it all i came out the other side with the love of my life.

last weekend was halloween. its also the day my life changed forever. i got engaged. i will one day be "mrs. hall" and i am thrilled about it. i dont know how i got so lucky that God saved the greatest man in the world just for me, but he did. i could go on and on about all the good things he has to offer, but i wont bore you or make you throw up with those gushy details. all i will say is that there is no way any girl should ever settle for anything other than the best. even in my previous relationships i thought that they could work, or it would be ok, or that i was happy enough. why be happy enough when you can be overly happy? seriously, my number one advice for anyone always will be to not settle! settling is for the people who dont have enough confidence in themselves to see what they truly deserve. everyone deserves to have their dreams come true, just work hard and believe.

so for halloween, i dressed up as a fiance! it was quite perfect and lovely and sweet. i got to drink $5 champagne and wear a cute dress and hold hands with the greatest guy ever. and now i have an awesome sparkly ring that i stare at too often and i worry about quite a bit. its perfect though. i really am lucky, and i know this. and i know its annoying to hear about how in love people are a lot, but im ok with that for the time being. i am on a crazy emotional love high and i am proud to discuss it right now!

and so begins my life as a fiance who hopes to not become a bridezilla!

good day.

love is...

a funny thing. it happens when you least expect it, yet it finds the exact spot in your heart that needed it most.

i really am very much the happiest i have ever been in my life. i know, i have said it before, but that "happy" is nothing in comparison to how my heart is perfectly content for the rest of my life. my friends are great, my work is great, and my boyfriend is perfect.

i know this is sappy and lame and completely like me, but yes, i really am in love. i knew it on our first date.

girls, listen up, sometimes the nice guys scare you the most. but those are the ones you need to look for and let into your heart. they are the best. im so thankful that through all of my heartache i came out a winner. i have the single greatest human as my absolute best friend for the rest of my life.

when i was growing up, and still to this day, i loved the movie say anything. i always wanted lloyd dobler for my very own. yet i still made horrible choices in love by choosing guys with bad attitudes and even worse jobs. why? i have no clue. through those ups and downs i found out that lloyd dobler is just a poor mans jeremy hall. find a boy who brings you flowers (especially on your first date). its the best choice he ever made, and i wont ever let him forget it.

i never knew being this happy came naturally, i always worked for happiness. find the boy that doesnt make you work for it. thats when it works out the best.

and now my cheesy blog has ended.

good day.

day 20...song i listen to when i am angry

well. i actually had no idea. and this probably isnt even it. but i dont get angry very often or when i do i dont normally listen to music. but this popped into my head so i chose it anyways...

good day.

day 19...a song from my favorite album

this is very easy. my favorite album of all time is alanis morissette's jagged little pill. in my mind it fits all the rules of a perfect cd: over 5 years old. love every song. dont ever need to skip any. still can play it and love it the same. can be in any mood to hear it.

the hardest part may even be picking a song off it. this one is probably my favorite though. every girl feels this at one point or another and i like that. its simply cute.

good day.

day 18...a song that you wish you heard on the radio

I wish i heard Honor Society on the radio more often! :)

good day.

day 17...song i hear often on the radio

well i will list a song that i like that i hear often so that when i look back on this i can laugh about the fact that its my current favorite song...

i love it. i sing along often.

good day.