Tuesday, March 25, 2008

i just keep staring blankly















i'm not much for finding the correct words in hard situations so i will just start with wow. i've never really had a friend pass away before, let alone one of my closest friends. i'm not sitting here looking for awkward i'm sorries from people more looking for a place to say oh my goodness i am shocked. literally hanging out with someone 4 days ago to hearing they were found dead.

steph was literally nonstop hilarity. i don't think i ever knew how to stay mad at her no matter what because she was so off the wall that i couldn't help but want to be around her. i know i will always remember the many good times we all shared together and i am just thankful that i could call her a friend.

i know i speak for everyone when we say thank you for your prayers and encouragement when dealing with this situation. thank you for all the love you have showed today to me and all of her other friends.

some classics from steph:

"was there a murder in your town or is someone hunting turkeys"

"you naked?" (asked often but once to "enrique inglesias" )

"i thought you were gray, i didnt know you could blush" - aunt becky. haha

"jonas bonas" and of course the song that comes along with that.


rip steph. i love you and miss you.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

i like to write

i am a blog connoisseur. i like to read about what is going on with people and hear their thoughts and see their pictures. i think its probably because i am too lazy to actually talk to them and hear about it directly. blogs are so easy.

i don't know what makes me think that people will care to read about my days and my thoughts but i care to share them so i'll read em again sometime if nothing else.


i became an avid blog reader before last summer. i knew i was going on tour with a band and i knew the bassist wrote a blog. thats basically all i knew about him at all actually but i decided to be a creeper and read it. i figured i might as well learn what it will be like to spend my months living with a bunch of guys i didn't know and perhaps this blog would help.

nothing helped. haha the first week was awkward and uncomfortable to be the only girl, doing a job that no one had taught me, while being judged by strangers. they didnt judge cause they were jerks or anything but solely because who the heck was i to them. haha i mean i came into their tiny living space and was a chick which meant they had to keep their clothes on when i was around. thankfully they did though. plus i judged them too i'm sure.

i eventually broke enough out of my shy shell to get to know them. for that i am truly thankful. i literally had the best summer of my life and i spent it with some amazing people. i don't think i could ever find the appropriate words to share with them on what they did for my life or my heart that summer. i wouldn't say that i came out of the summer being best friends with every person on that bus but i would say that i came out with a couple. but perhaps the ones i am not friends with taught me more about how to live my life anyways.

i used to expect everyone to like me because i was nice, christian, and easy going. what was i thinking? i of course need to earn respect and appreciation. i hope i did that even in the slightest.


outside of that bus my whole life was changing. i was trying to make friends, i was planning my day around the meals i would really hope to eat, i was having my heart broken daily and only sometimes did i have a person to share it with, and i was thinking about my impending move to virginia.

luckily for me though i was working pretty much all day and all night it felt like so i didn't have much time to think about things. even more lucky for me now is that it's all sorted out or settled.

life is great.

ps. i did meet my best friends on tour too, they just weren't on the bus. i am so thankful for them because they came around when i needed them the most and they played as openers or they helped sell merch or they just made me laugh.